Leila Hormozi: From Six Arrests to a $100 Million Net Worth, How Leila Changed Her Mind and Build an Empire at 28 | E202-YAP | Young and profitable | Hosted by Hala Taha (2023)

[00:00:00]Leila Hormozi:I came downstairs and my dad was about to cry, and he said, listen, I'm not going to try to change you, but I'm just saying that I think you might kill yourself if you continue this behavior. Who was that girl that just wanted to be a better version of herself, that she just wanted to be an inspiration to others?

[00:00:17]I was like, I have to see what I said I would do when I was younger. I want to become that person, and that doesn't have to be the end. When many people talk about a change in behavior, what they are really asking for is a change in belief or thought. If you're thinking about changing your behavior, it's not too complicated, just don't eat the cookie.

[00:00:38]But I think a lot of people want to know, how am I not going to eat the cookie? How can I lose weight? I just can't lose weight. I'm like, no, you can't be hungry. That is the most important. That was the unlock for me with the behavior change and what it has always been is that I don't need to remove the feelings, I just need to change my relationship with them.[00:01:00]

[00:01:00]Hala Taha:What is young and freeloaders. You're listening to the YAP, Young and Profiting podcast, where we interview the world's brightest minds and reveal their wisdom and practical advice that you can use in your everyday life. I am your host, Hala Taha. Thanks for tuning in and get ready to listen, learn and profit.

[00:01:24]Leila, welcome to the Joven y Lucrando podcast.

[00:01:35]Leila Hormozi:Thanks for having me Hala.

[00:01:36]Hala Taha:So today's youngsters and freeloaders on the show were joined by Leila Hormozi, a first-generation Iranian-American entrepreneur, investor, and philanthropist. Leila began her career in fitness and is now widely known as an expert in scale operations and management.

[00:01:50]And with those skills, he acquired a net worth of nearly a hundred million by the time he was 28 years old. Today, Leila is co-founder of the holding[00:02:00]adquisicion.com, along with her husband Alex Hormozi. And together they invest their monetary and intellectual capital in other businesses.

[00:02:07]Alex and Leila seem to be taking over the world lately and Acquisition.com is currently responsible for over $200 million in annual revenue across a variety of industries. Alex Hormozi recently appeared on YAP for a two-part episode, and today I'm honored to have the other half of him, Leila Hormozi, who is equally impressive and business-savvy on the show.

[00:02:26]And in today's episode, Leila and I will talk about her upbringing and how she became the business expert she is today, listening to Leila's guide to making lasting behavior changes. And we'll understand how we can design a hiring system and a management system that creates great places to work and makes our teams run like well-oiled machines.

[00:02:44]Leila, when we look at adult personalities, we can often drive. The reasoning behind our strongest personality traits since childhood. We can often see that the experiences we had in childhood shape us as adults. So you[00:03:00]you are an extraordinary example of an entrepreneur, so would you love to know what your experiences were growing up?

[00:03:06]How do you think they made you the entrepreneur you are today?

[00:03:09]Leila Hormozi:I think they are experiences and also lack of experiences, right? And so if I look at what I had as a child and what I didn't have as a child, which I'm so grateful for because it made me who I am today. I didn't have a very present mother figure after a certain point in my life.

[00:03:24]My parents divorced when I was young. They got divorced. My mom went off the rails, got into alcohol and drugs and just didn't go down the right path. And I continued to live with her during that time because when my parents were married, my dad was always at work and I wasn't very close to him.

[00:03:39]And then when the divorce came, it was like, you're going to live with mom because she was a great mom up until that point in my life. But at that moment there was a change, so my sister at that time, she was six years older than me, left home. It was time for her to go to college and my dad left because they were getting a divorce.

[00:03:53]And also my mother and me. Then her father died and that really upset her. And that's when she dropped a big no[00:04:00]trajectory to alcohol and I witnessed this as a child. There was a bit of a lack of leadership because I was going, I was going to my father's house, I think once every two weeks at first.

[00:04:11]But I kept what was happening from my father because I was afraid that I would have to move in with him. And at the time I wasn't really in a relationship, which is crazy to say because I'm so close with my dad now, he's amazing. But at that time we weren't very close and I was a kid and I just wanted to be close to my mom.

[00:04:25]And then he continued in this spiral with alcohol. And I tried, I think honestly what happened is I became a house dad at a very young age. And so he morphed, or regressed, acting more like a girl. And then naturally I started acting more like an adult.

[00:04:43]How I would clean the house, take care of the animals. Because we had a lot of animals at that time. I took out the trash, made sure I had food, like I was taking care of myself. In addition to going to my friends' houses, I got food there. As if I was safe, as if they were taking care of me.

[00:04:55]I did my homework on my own. I went to bed on time. And so I learned it very young. I think that I,[00:05:00]this was between the ages of with all this going on, i mean between the ages of nine. And then it ended when she was 15 years old. It was just like her not to come home, to be gone for days on end when she was home, drunk and absent.

[00:05:11]And me having to, during that time, learn to be an adult. And I think it really sped up that process because I really don't think I would be who I am today if my parents had stayed together. Wow. I think they were both very similar to the generation that became helicopter parents.

[00:05:28]So, I think if they had gotten together, it probably would have been, I don't know if I can swear on that podcast, it wouldn't have been, it would have been a fagot. Honestly. It's like? I guess that's what comes to mind. I'm like, I think I would have been really protected my whole life.

[00:05:43]And I'm very grateful that that happened because what inspired me was a motivation that I don't think I would have had otherwise. And I'll tell you the time this happened was I was sitting in my childhood home office and my mom, it was like 3:00 in the morning, she told me it was going to be[00:06:00]home several days in a row.

[00:06:01]I wasn't home, it's 3:00 in the morning. I'm calling her I'm like, are you dead? Just tell me you're alive. And at that point it was like, I just want to make sure that she's still alive. That was it. And I was sitting there and I called her like 10 times in a row and I remember hanging up the phone and I said, this woman is not going to answer.

[00:06:15]I was like, and I'm not going to change this woman and I'm not going to change this situation. And how I get goosebumps every time I think about it, I'm 10 right now. And I remember thinking to myself, there's nothing I can do to change my mother. I can't change my mother, but I can change my current situation and my life.

[00:06:33]And in that moment I remember making a decision, which was one, the rest of my life will make up for how horrible it is. How not to feel like you have a father figure, right? Watch them degrade their lives, go down the drain. It was horrible. And he was always stressed and felt like he lived in a constant state of fear.

[00:06:48]And then I remember thinking, I have to make up for it later and I want to be an inspiration to other people who are in similar situations. And I don't know where that came from, but it was just the first thought that came to mind. And then[00:07:00]the second thought that came with this was: I will no longer sacrifice my life for her.

[00:07:06]because what I was doing at the time was my whole life revolved around making sure my mom was still alive, making sure she didn't drink too much, hiding the bottles, throwing them away, doing all of that. And I realized that I could no longer do this. And so, I think in a matter of months, he really went deeper and deeper and ended up calling the police.

[00:07:26]One day they came, and that was the last time I lived with my mother. I moved in with my dad after that. So that was after five or six years of living with her in that condition. And it was actually very strange because moving in with my dad was very uncomfortable. And the reason why it was awkward is because I had parents from her and I felt that during those years that I lived with her, I would see my father once every two weeks for a day or two.

[00:07:49]But how I felt that big part of my childhood, I didn't have guides, I didn't have parents, I didn't have anyone to take care of me in the sense of not feeling supported. It was too much[00:08:00]difficult transition. I think I rebelled too much. This got me to a very angry place. I was very angry about the fact that first I felt like I knew how to raise and lead myself, but now I had to be in this house where I had siblings that I didn't really know.

[00:08:12]They are my stepbrothers, right? It's not that they're bad or anything. They're just, I'm close to them. I'm also the youngest, so everyone treats me like a child. And I think to myself, I've been careful for the last five fucking years. And then she felt very backwards. As if these things should have happened in the opposite order.

[00:08:26]And then it turned me into a very angry teenager. I started down the path of rebelling against everything my father wanted me to do. you know, I was always, despite everything with my mother, a very good student, I was still a very good friend. I went a lot, I had a lot of integrity, and I started going in the opposite direction.

[00:08:42]I started drinking, I started sneaking around. I started doing a lot of things, but it was intermittent because that was during high school and there's not much you can do. And then I think it increased when I got into college because I remember the. After finishing high school, the feeling of freedom that I had, being like now I no longer have authority.[00:09:00]about me and I still have this intense anger inside of me and also anxiety about getting into college.

[00:09:06]And that manifested itself first in being invited to parties and then drinking too much and then going to parties, not just on the weekends, but on weekdays. And then it was like you were partying all the time and drinking all the time. And that got me arrested six times in 18 months.

[00:09:20]And people always ask, why did you get arrested? I'm like literally just alcohol. It was all alcohol related. And that put me in a really dark place because I had spent most of my life up to that point being almost like a hero to my mom being like the father figure. And then it was like the time I left home and went to college and had access to all this stuff, it was 18 months of messing up my body and myself and losing a lot of self-respect during that time.

[00:09:48]And it got to a point where there was an incident where. I think I passed out on someone's deck. And the police found me and they took me[00:10:00]his father's house. And I remember waking up at my dad's house and thinking, oh shit. what did i do right? As if he was living alone right now.

[00:10:06]And I was like, I'm at my dad's now and I don't remember what happened. I was like, this is not good. And I went downstairs and my father was about to cry, and he sat me down. He was like, listen. He was like, I'm not going to try to change you and I'm not going to try to tell you not to do these things.

[00:10:21]Like you're alone now. It is, but I'm just saying that I think you might kill yourself if you continue this behavior. And it was really hard to hear that from my father, who I respect so much. And he is a good person. He always tried to be the best father possible.

[00:10:36]And it was at that moment that almost like a flash went off and I thought, who is that girl? Do you remember that little girl who was sitting in her office with her, at her mother's house, who just wanted to be a better version of herself, who just wanted to be an inspiration to others?

[00:10:50]And all of that almost seemed to flow out to me, and it came back again, I think in the form of anger, which again is interesting, but it's a theme you'll see here.[00:11:00]I was mad at myself, but I think it was a very helpful emotion for me at the time because I was mad at where I allowed myself to go, that I'm so smart and I knew better and still went down that path.

[00:11:10]And I used that anger to push myself to lose 85 pounds, get good grades in college, start looking for personal development, personal development outside of that, start looking for mentors. That was really what pushed me to change my life was that moment sitting there with my dad honestly feeling like a piece of shit.

[00:11:30]Yeah, I hate to say it, but I felt like a bag of garbage, like I felt so bad about myself and I was like, I have to see what I said I would do when I was younger. I want to become that person, and that doesn't have to be the end. I was young, at that time I was 19 years old.

[00:11:47]I'm like, I can change this. I did all this in 18 months. Imagine how fast I can go. And that was it. She was channeling some of the same emotions to go in the opposite direction. And that's what really[00:12:00]pushed me to change my life. And really, I think I have a strong focus on behavior change because I've done it myself a lot.

[00:12:06]Hala Taha:Sim.

[00:12:07]Leila Hormozi:And I think a lot of the reason I'm drawn to leadership is because I think I've learned to lead myself over the years and also learn how to get out of a bad situation. And I think a lot of people, especially nowadays with social media, nobody wants to talk about their setbacks.

[00:12:22]What if they just want to show that they are perfect and don't want to show that they screwed up? Yes. And I want to share this. I screwed up. And you can still get out the other side, like there's still time.

[00:12:32]Hala Taha:100%. There are so many lessons to be learned from this story and I also thought, party and you and I are of Middle Eastern descent.

[00:12:41]We're locked in high school, right? Like they won't let us out, at least for me, like they locked me out of high school. When I went to college, I was in party mode. But like you, I ended up turning around when I was about 19 and back on track and it's not too late.

[00:12:55]And I, as I mentioned before we started recording, most of my listeners[00:13:00]they are masculine. They're young males, listen. And I have Scott Galloway on the show, who is a professor at New York NYU Eastern. Bestselling author, great podcaster. And he always says that men are in trouble now, boys. And he told me some sobering statistics.

[00:13:15]He believes that young people are struggling to compete because women and men now have a level playing field in terms of education and business. As soon as two women graduate from college for every man, men's incomes are declining, leading to lower marriage rates, and many other problems. And I usually do, because my young listeners come to me and send me voicemails all the time saying they're so unmotivated, unfocused, can't stop having fun, playing too many video games, just not coming to communities and are simply lost.

[00:13:49]And I feel like at this point in your life, you've changed and you've gone on this journey of self-development. And then I really wanted to unpack what you really did[00:14:00]to get out of that party mode and change things up.

[00:14:03]Leila Hormozi:Yeah. I started listening to Tony Robbins and Jim Rohn, which is fun now.

(Video) Leila Hormozi: How She Changed Her Mind and Built an Empire by Age 28 | Part 1

[00:14:07]I think they are probably outdated at the moment and not listened to by the younger generation. But I learned a lot from them. And one of the first things was: what am I consuming and who am I dating? So the first thing I did was stop watching Netflix. I remember I like to get rid of my signature.

[00:14:23]I started watching YouTube. I started to see as if there were different similar platforms at that point of online videos. I started watching Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn. I started listening to Rich Dad Poor Dad. I started dedicating myself to education instead of entertainment. That was the first thing I did.

[00:14:37]And that was the change I made in my head. I thought, no more entertainment, just education for now this season. Does that mean I can't watch an episode of something later? No. But for now, I've had a lot of momentum going in the wrong direction. I need to take momentum in the right direction. Inertia is real.

[00:14:52]And then I thought, I need to change this right away. So I focused on personal development in terms of Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, rich dad, poor dad.[00:15:00]father. So there were a lot of changes in behavior, mindset, and even beliefs about money because I felt like I didn't have the best beliefs about money. The second thing I did was look at all the people I hung out with and really do an audit, do these people want me to succeed or are they feeding the bad habits I have today?

[00:15:19]Not because they are toxic. I hate that word. I'm like, when people look, they're toxic. I'm like, fuck, you set some limits. We are adults, right? Just set limits. And then I thought, here are my new limits. Some of these people are not my friends, some of these people I see once a month. Some of those people I only talk to on the phone.

[00:15:33]And I had written down in my notebook what I would do with all my friends. And I don't think I've ever said that to any of them until today. And a lot of them probably don't have the best things to say because I kind of disappeared off the face of the earth for a while. But I knew that this was what I had to do because I knew that at that moment I was a very nice person.

[00:15:48]As I wanted. It's almost like he wants to excel at anything. I also wanted to be the biggest partier who could drink the most, who could be the coolest, who could throw the biggest parties. And it's like I have to channel that somewhere else. Yo[00:16:00]You need to reach out to people who didn't think this was something that would lead to status, but thought it was something you put down.

[00:16:06]And then I started saying, okay, who are the people I want to reach out to? I realized I didn't have any at the time. There was no one in my inner circle that I felt would contribute to my growth. And that was while I was in college, right? I was like, I have to move. How can I not now.

[00:16:22]I'll graduate. But I set my eyes on him. I was like, I'm moving to California. I remember deciding one night that all my friends went to the bar and I went to them sober and said, I'm fucking over it. Because I was still trying to do some stuff with them, it was like once a month I go out and it's DD or something, but I was like, I hate this.

[00:16:41]I'd rather be doing something that drives me towards my goals, rather than doing something just to maintain friendships that are now pretty shallow. And so it was that night. I remember telling my friends, guys, I'm moving to California after I graduate. And they said to me, what are you talking about?

[00:16:54]I was like, yeah. I just decided, I like to decide at that time and place. And so I told everyone that night, I told everyone that I was moving[00:17:00]California after I graduated and I moved to California after I graduated and that was it. And then after I graduated, that was the biggest, that was one of the biggest, if not the biggest, kind of unlock for my personal growth. I moved across the country when I didn't know anyone.

[00:17:15]I didn't really have a plan. I had nothing there waiting for me and I didn't know how I was going to make money or how I was going to make it work. And I am like a girl. It's not like I was 20. When I went there, I think I was what, 21? . And that's what moved me a lot, because I think a lot of people like it, tell me about the books you read.

[00:17:33]Tell me things. What I did was put myself in a situation where my back was against the wall. And I was incredibly uncomfortable. To the point where, like when I was moving there, I remember having panic attacks on a weekly basis. I didn't know anyone. I had no support system. I didn't know how I was going to make money.

[00:17:48]It was terrifying. And not to mention that I bought or rented an apartment online that ends up being like in the ghetto with barb water in my mouth and shit. So I got there and I said, the team is going to walk in my own neighborhood.[00:18:00]It was a really upsetting experience and I quickly learned that I had to make it work for me.

[00:18:07]No one could do this for me. No amount of affirmations and mindset work would do the job. And I think that's where a lot of people go wrong. It's great to have positive things that you say to yourself. It is important, in a sense, that you talk to yourself as if you were your best friend.

[00:18:23]Yes. But if you do nothing, none of it matters. And I think a lot of times these days, people spend a lot of time in their heads. That's what I feel this generation is doing. They spend more time in their heads than acting. . Feelings and beliefs can follow action.

[00:18:37]If you can act when you are afraid, you will change your thoughts and beliefs. You can take action despite not believing it will work. And that's exactly what I did. I didn't know how to make it work. So I went and signed up and worked out, signed up for every gym within walking distance of my apartment.

[00:18:53]And I got, except I accepted them all, but I was like, they said, oh, you have a three-month training program, they pay you about $9 an hour. And I was like, fuck it[00:19:00]No, I won't be able to pay my rent. So I went to the only gym that said: you can make money right away. , which was a four-hour Fitness.

[00:19:07]And there I learned to sell. But then you have to understand, I went in there having only knowledge of how to lose weight, nutrition, everything that I learned in college that didn't really matter. I go there and they tell me you have to sell some shit if you want to make money. As if you were going to get your own clients.

[00:19:19]And I was like, oh shit. Once again my back is against the wall. I am. What I do? As if he were not a seller. I never identified myself as a seller. I was the ultimate for that. I disliked him, even the word. And I was like, fuck, I have to, what else am I going to do? And I remember the first time I approached them in the gym, I was terrified.

[00:19:40]And I approached this lady, they told me, go talk to the people on the elliptical, in the gyms that you see are not doing things right. Whichever is. She goes try to get them to your customers. And I went up to this woman and said, excuse me. And she said, she looks at me, she stops. She goes to hell. And that was my first experience.

[00:19:55]There is only rejection from day one. So it was very difficult. But[00:20:00]I channeled that feeling of stress and anxiety into learning. I was like, I can't, I won't. No amount of thinking is going to get me out of this situation. I need to learn these skills and I need to become this different person to get out of this situation.

[00:20:16]And then I took away all that anxiety and all that stress and all that frenetic energy that I had. And I put it in learning. I poured it into sales learning. I invested it in learning how to retain clients. I dedicated myself to learning how to become a teammate because I didn't even know how to do that. And that's what I spent most of my time doing. And I think a lot of times when people ask about self-development and self-development, I think there's a piece missing, that a lot of people think you have to have, you have to think a certain way, and you have to believe in something before you do it.

[00:20:45]And that was never the case in my life. If you had told me, would you believe that you would earn all this money with age? Fuck no No. And then they ask, do you think aquisicion.com will become a billion? No. But I am doing this because I know logically that[00:21:00]It makes sense and I can.

[00:21:01]Hala Taha:Sim.

[00:21:01]Leila Hormozi:This makes sense?

[00:21:02]Hala Taha:100%. It's like a small consistent action taking action. And I say something very similar and I say in terms of rejection, I have been rejected many times. Like I almost got a gig on MTV, I got turned down. I almost hosted Hot 97. I got rejected, I almost got rejected on Sirius.

[00:21:18]And I always say that the reason I enjoy being successful is that every time I've been rejected, I've channeled it into learning something new. I just learned a new skill and got awesome, and that's what I've done every time. And it sounds a lot like what you say.

[00:21:32]Let's keep that thought in mind and take a short break with our sponsors.

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[00:27:36]So let's move on to your sales skills, because you say you didn't know anything about sales when you went to California, but you ended up being the best-selling personal trainer in your area, I think in a year. If he didn't have any sales experience before, he said he got it from experience. I guess what would you say were the main things you learned as a salesperson during that time?

[00:27:55]Because now you carry that ability and use it in many ways throughout your career.

[00:27:59]Leila Hormozi:UE[00:28:00]I think there are two things because Alex and I, when we first met, for example, like we both had an aptitude for sales, but we sell in a completely different way. And I know this because we sold side by side for a year together. And our conversations sound completely different, and we both had the same close rate.

[00:28:14]Most people can sell things they believe in. So I think a lot of times people try, if they look at the mechanics of sales, we're trying to pretend to believe as a salesperson, sales training often pretend to believe in the product. When I think I found a product that I believed in, which was personal training, nutrition, weight loss, like I really believed.

[00:28:35]And that was the first thing, which is why I advise many sellers to contact me. They're like, I'm just not getting it. I'm like, do you believe in the product? And they say, fundamentally, no, actually, there's a vegan selling meat or something. It's just that it fundamentally doesn't match his belief systems.

[00:28:49]The first step is to make sure you're being honest, which means that what you think, what you say, and what you do are aligned. And then for me the only thing I realized when I spoke[00:29:00]with different people, mainly I think my boss at the time, he was a sales manager, he was very good.

[00:29:03]He was like, Leila, can you believe this? And I was like, absolutely. It is, so why don't you feel doomed to try to get people to buy it? And that was the unlock for me: if you believe in something and really know that it's the right choice and the best choice for someone, I'm obligated to try and get them to buy it.

[00:29:20]Because I'm thinking about him, like, what other options do they have? Not many, right? This is the path you really have to follow. It is the most difficult and the most expensive, but it is definitely the best. And I think he was the first to have integrity about the product that you're selling, which sounds super cheesy.

[00:29:35]It's nothing tactical, but a lot of people are very misaligned. You would be surprised. The people who messaged me and said, I'm just not selling. And then I said, do you really believe in the thing? They changed jobs and that's why they are closer. And that was the first thing for me, I did it myself.

[00:29:46]He had lost all the weight. I had seen how my life changed. It is not difficult to preach this to other people. It's not hard to try to convince someone of this, because I would if it wasn't.

[00:29:56]Hala Taha:Yes, you need that conviction. So you have confidence when you are selling. Otherwise people may[00:30:00]just see through you.

[00:30:01]Leila Hormozi:Hundred percent. And if you really believe it, the conviction comes naturally. You don't have to pretend. . But the second thing I learned as a skill was having the right conversation frame. Because many people who truly believe in a product continue to please people while trying to sell it.

[00:30:17]And because they're trying to get that person to like them, instead of trying to get that person to buy or make a decision, that's what they're actually doing well. They want the person to like them more than they want the person to buy or make a decision. And so they're trying to tiptoe around him.

[00:30:30]I had to do this frame change and I realize I have to be the authority. Only if someone is the leader in a business, you will not like yourself all the time. However, it is important that you can positively influence the people in the business. Does that mean they'll always like you for it?

[00:30:42]No. But will they be better for it? Yes. It's the same in sales. So I had to learn to develop more confidence and a more authoritative structure within myself. How I spoke, how I conducted the conversation. I didn't let them lead the conversation. That was the biggest unlock for me, was realizing that I should be the one to guide them through the[00:31:00]conversation.

[00:31:00]I'm the authority in this conversation and I should be because I really don't give a shit. Yes. Who better to be an authority figure than someone who really cares about the person on the other end.

[00:31:09]Hala Taha:Yes. So it's like telling them something close to the truth, even if it hurts and it won't make you the sweetest person, but it will help them reach their goal.

[00:31:17]Leila Hormozi:A man could never say that to a woman on a date, but how many times have I said, when was the last time you had sex with the lights on to a woman? Because he knew she didn't want it because I wouldn't have it when I was fat either. Nobody wants to see that. You don't want to see yourself. I was like, when was the last time you liked wearing clothes in front of a mirror?

[00:31:34]Hala Taha:Wow.

[00:31:35]Leila Hormozi:Because they don't, if someone gains their weight, they don't even look in the mirror. These are the questions that, even though they hurt and didn't feel good at the time, I thought, this is what someone is going to do, this is what is going to lead someone to make a decision that is going to improve their life. .

[00:31:46]And I think the difference between manipulation and influence is that manipulation is getting someone to do something that hurts them. While influence drives someone to do something that is beneficial to themselves and in line with their own personal goals and autonomy. This was really the only part he needed.[00:32:00]to be successful in sales was to understand that I was the authority and had all the evidence to support that I should be the authority.

[00:32:06]And I also cared where it made sense for me to be.

[00:32:11]Hala Taha:Yes, it makes perfect sense. Good advice. So let's talk about your schedule at one point to find a man, okay? I heard a story, I heard you tell the story that you went on a date every weekend because you realized dating was a volume game and then you met Alex, so I'd love to hear that story.

[00:32:29]Leila Hormozi:Yes. So, I'll tell you how it all started, that I actually worked at 24 y. My boss at the time, who was a sales manager, told me, I told him, I was like, I got into Tinder and Bumble. I was like, Tinder is gross, but Bumble looks cool. And he was, I remember saying I'm going to try to date every two weeks.

[00:32:47]And he said, Leila, I think dating is a lot like sales. I was like how? He thinks it's a numbers game. He thinks about how many dates you need to go on with someone to get a client. I was like, yeah. He is how many dates do you think you have to go on to get someone to be one[00:33:00]boyfriend?

[00:33:00]Maybe even more? And I was like, interesting. And it is and I remember her saying that. Don't you think dating would actually be a good sales practice? And I was like, how? He meets strangers. You basically have to sell yourself to them and you're in awkward situations.

[00:33:13]And I was like, uh. So he basically sold me on this concept and. I said, okay, how do I work with leads now in my sales job? Okay, I'm just going to do this. But for appointments, which they were, I had a time booked every day where for an hour I would call all the potential clients and I would, or whatever, maybe over an hour, and I would call on the phone.

[00:33:32]So I said, okay, what can I commit to to date? I have my lunch hour every day. They are a minimum of 30 minutes. I will literally slide and do nothing but slide while eating for 30 minutes. And that's what I did and that's what I promised myself. I said my goal is to have one date a week if I swipe for 30 minutes.

[00:33:48]And that's what I did. And I started going on dates and a lot of them sucked. Like some guy tried to take me to the movies without telling me because he didn't want to pay. I had another[00:34:00]Guy who took me out to dinner and then told me he wished I wouldn't talk. Like she's been on so many bad dates.

[00:34:05]The difference is that I didn't let that deter me from going elsewhere. And now I talk to a lot of women and they ask me about it and they say, listen, Layla, I did this for three months. I'm like, girl, I did this for 18 months. Contact me when you've swiped every day for 30 minutes, gone on 60 dates, and then tell me what you think.

[00:34:23]Just like you are looking for the ideal client. If you're in sales, appointments are the same way, I mean, you have your criteria of what you're looking for and you go on appointments trying to find it, and it's just a funnel that you're trying to keep working through. through. And honestly, I just found out about the same sales I had.

[00:34:40]I applied them to quotes and just wouldn't let go. I was confident enough in myself at the time and I thought, there is someone out there for me. Like I know I'm a little weird and a little different, like I really like business. I really like working. Like many women at the time, especially in Newport Beach, California, she felt that she was not right.

[00:34:56]They just wanted a sugar daddy. But I thought eventually I'll find[00:35:00]someone. And I think having that. Knowing that was the case and understanding that it was just a numbers game made it much easier to get through the emotional ups and downs. Because I think if dating is just an emotional game for you, you're going to stop because the moment you go on a bad date, you're like, oh, no guys for me.

[00:35:15]I'm like, shut up. I'm like, are you saying half the population sucks please. I hate when people say that all men are horrible. I'm like, this is called cognitive bias. You are generalizing too much. Your brain is saying, I had a bad boyfriend. Now all men are bad. This is definitely not true.

[00:35:29]And then the second part is understanding that I think a lot of people, what they do is go on a few dates, maybe hook up with a few people and maybe date someone for a month or two, and then break up. and then they take the same amount of time they dated the person to get over it.

[00:35:43]And I think a lot of that comes from the social stigma of, oh, it takes you half the time it takes you to date someone to get over it. I'm like, the best way to get over someone is to go on another date. What do you do when you lose a customer? Go find another client like, I refuse to believe a lot of the things society tells us.[00:36:00]

[00:36:00]Because I was like, am I really upset with this person I dated for eight weeks? No. But I guess I must be upset. And I think that's what a lot of people do. And I think the reason I was able to move quickly and find someone is because I didn't let those things hold me back or drag me down or make the process take longer.

[00:36:15]Hala Taha:Yes. So smart. And I must say, Leila, I love your personality. You're so funny. And just give good advice. I love talking to you. I think the audience is going to love this conversation. So you met Alex, right? Tell us about that first date. What was he like and what did you see in him? You had all these suitors and you decided on Alex.

[00:36:33]Leila Hormozi:Honestly, it was tough. Because I'm really real. And you probably also had it or found it as an ambitious woman. A lot of guys didn't like that.

[00:36:41]Hala Taha:Sim, 100%.

[00:36:43]Leila Hormozi:Like many men, they just wanted her to be a housewife. They wanted to have children very soon and all that. And I was like, this is not in the cards for me, man.

[00:36:50]Hala Taha:Or they think they want it and then they realize, oh, she's going to be more successful than me. I do not know if I want

[00:36:54]Leila Hormozi:Hundred percent. So if it wasn't oh I don't want you to, it was oh I'll try and[00:37:00]suppress it, then I'm better than you. Which, listen, I have nothing against people who do that.

[00:37:03]I just don't want to be in a relationship with them. When I met Alex, it was interesting because we ran into each other on Bumble and then Alex, I texted her because she had to be the girl. I don't even remember what I said. I was probably so bad at it, I'd say, Hey, what's up? Like I never said anything nice. i was a nerd

[00:37:19]So I was like, Hey, how's it going? Or something like that. And he texted me and said, fuck this app, let's get off this app. I can call you? And I was like, I like this. As someone who takes it seriously, who takes it literally. So we talked on the phone, I remember the first thing he said, like, listen, it's basically like a first date.

[00:37:36]So what we're doing right now is we can have our first date now over the phone and later on when we actually have a first date we don't have to talk about all that stuff. Because we already talked about that. It will basically be our second page. And I was like, this guy is efficient. Which I liked because that's how I was handling it too.

[00:37:49]So I thought, this is a good combination. And I remember feeling like I really didn't know. This guy is kind of straight to the point, tough. It's not really flirty, but I appreciate it. and that's how we met[00:38:00]froyo for our first date because he is low commitment. Then we could leave if we didn't like each other.

[00:38:03]That was the deal. And we're leaving and I'm sitting there waiting for him and he comes up behind me and I remember him saying, okay, how not to smile. And I was like, what is this guy who won't even smile at me? Turns out what some people don't know is that I have a full back piece and I was wearing a sleeveless dress and saw I had angel wings on my back when I was 18 and getting drunk.

[00:38:27]And he saw them and I think he really doesn't like tattoos. And so, for the first 15 minutes of the date, she didn't even look at me like we were in line for Froyo. He's not really looking, making eye contact. I'm like I don't know what's going on. And we finally sat down and started talking and I started asking him about his business because he owned a couple of gyms at the time.

[00:38:45]And then it kind of turned on, and from that point in the conversation, we talked for, I think, four and a half hours. We went for a walk, we walked I don't know how many kilometers. He was crazy. And in the end, I only remember thinking, the only thought I had[00:39:00]I was like, I just want to keep talking to him.

[00:39:02]Like I don't even care if we're dating or not. I finally feel like I found someone who sees reality the same way I do. I felt that he wanted the same things in life and he was looking for the same things. And it was like a breath of fresh air to talk to someone, woman or man, who really felt that way.

[00:39:19]Honestly, from then on, we went out every day. I think I had to go to dinner later that night, so she called me later and we talked until 2:00 a.m. m. and then the next day he came to my work during lunch hour and then I went to his house. And that's how it was from that point on, but we weren't working together at the time, we were just dating and I mean, two weeks later, she said, you really should work for me.

[00:39:43]And I was like, because he knew what I was trying to decide was whether I was going to start my own gym or have an online training business. And I had opportunities on both sides. He wasn't sure what to do. And he was telling him about this decision and he said to me, I don't think you should do any of those things and instead you should come do this with me and we'll make a lot more money than any of those things.[00:40:00]things.

[00:40:00]And I was like, yeah, but I'm working for you. That's weird. We're kind of dating now. He was like, whatever. We've only been dating for two weeks. I remember he said that. And I was like, very good point. It hasn't been that long. And he was really torn, but at the same time he was like, okay, let me see all the decisions I made that were the best decisions in life.

[00:40:20]Putting my back to the wall, putting myself in a situation where most people would fail or falter, and putting myself in risky situations. I thought, there really is no better time to do something like this than to do it now because I'm young. And then I talked to some mentors, I thought a lot and I thought, I think about it later.

[00:40:41]He then went off and launched himself into the Jim Launch, which would become the Jim Launch. And I saw that it really worked. And a lot of people, by the way, give me shit for that. Because I was like, I saw that he made a hundred thousand dollars launching this gym. Of course I want to see if he made any money.

[00:40:55]I was making a lot of money on my own. I won't stop to do something with someone who hasn't made money or tried[00:41:00]concept. I'm like, I've got my own shit, my own thing is going on. And once I saw that it worked, I was like, okay, this makes financial sense to me, so it makes sense to take that risk.

[00:41:08]And that's where I think the next week I talked to all my clients. I talked to the gym I was working at at the time and got rid of everything. And I had a week between getting rid of everything and flying to the first gym to launch this idea, to launch the company gym.

[00:41:26]And that was really the beginning of not our relationship, but our partnership. And then if you really think about it, like we only had, I don't know, six weeks without working together. As with our entire relationship now, which is now seven years old, and the rest from then on, was learning to navigate a new relationship with someone you're also building a new business with while losing money, living in motels, basically eating shit every day.

[00:41:54]And it was very hard. So it was like I was realizing where I was going with this. I was like, this is a story of our relationship.[00:42:00]

[00:42:00]Hala Taha:I mean, it's so interesting and now you're such a power couple and I'm sure starting a business allowed you to bond, but also, spending so much time together was probably really hard and maybe I felt like you guys needed your own experiences and stuff like that.

[00:42:16]So I guess how did you handle it? How did you deal with the fact that you were still romantic, even though you were business partners?

[00:42:23]Leila Hormozi:Oh god, it wasn't romantic the first two years. It wasn't, it wasn't any romance. It's funny because people ask these things and I say, no, the first two years we tried not to be poor.

[00:42:33]Like we're just trying not to go bankrupt at the time. Our relationship was not in the foreground. So it was really the first year. I think what we learned out of necessity was how to communicate with each other. I learned how Alex works. A lot of people are really intimidated by Alex because what you'll learn if you get close to him is that he likes one word answers.

[00:42:51]Like he's like, okay, if you're like, you write him a whole novel, he's got his thumbs up.

[00:42:55]Hala Taha:Yes. I thought Alex hated me after mine. I was like why does he hate me?

[00:42:59]Leila Hormozi:Most[00:43:00]people think that, right?

[00:43:00]Hala Taha:Yes. It's just not, it's not like you. Sparkling, sweet. It's nothing like that.

[00:43:05]Leila Hormozi:No. It took me time to learn too.

[00:43:07]I joke with everyone on our team. I'm like, listen, I thought he hated me too. When we first worked together and then got married, he apparently didn't. It was really learning how to communicate with each other. Learn how What are my nuances? How is Leila behaving? And then how does Alex behave and how do we behave together?

[00:43:22]That was the hardest part, and I think when you get into a relationship and you're stressed, because we were under intense stress those early years, I was learning to use that to our advantage to become better versions of ourselves. . Because being around another person exposes you when you are under stress of where your flaws or your weaknesses are.

[00:43:45]And I know that for myself, as one of the best lessons Alex taught me early on, just pointing out that I was really cold. And I think I warmed up substantially. I think if people get to know me now, I seem pretty warm at first anyway. And I was not like that. Yo[00:44:00]I was scared, I was stressed and I shut down.

[00:44:03]And I remember one time we were sitting in the car and I closed it because there was something he said, and I was upset about it, but I didn't want to tell him. And he looked at me and said, I just want you to know that if you keep doing this cold thing, this relationship is not going to work out.

[00:44:16]But it was funny because what I really thought at the time, I wasn't angry, I wasn't defensive. I was like, you know what? Any relationship I have in my life, that's going to be a problem. Why not settle now? He is right. I'm cold. And I remember that it was like a change for me. And that was the most important thing I had to work on early on in our relationship.

[00:44:37]And on the other hand, for Alex, it was probably ego or temper. She used to get angry very easily. And I think under stress even more and usually when somebody's mad, it's like, are they mad at themselves? You, the situation, you really don't know. But he would get angry and I would close because he was angry and I was afraid.

[00:44:53]So we had to learn that from each other, talk about it, and then learn to say what the other person says.[00:45:00]language. If Alex is angry, I know how to calm him down. If I'm stressed, Alex knows how to calm me down because we've learned and talked enough to say what I need to.

[00:45:09]And said what you need. It's a conversation we have. It's not like she's guessing, yeah. I'm not here, what do you want me to do? You like trying to figure out what I want him to want me to do when he's angry. I'm like, Hey, when you're mad, what do you want me to do?

[00:45:19]And I think that's been the biggest blessing of our relationship, the same way you would talk to a business partner. How do we do this in business? We carry that into our relationship, which means there's nothing not talked about, like anything to a very high degree. We talk about all the problems, all the things we notice if we think: Hey, we feel so distant right now, do you feel distant?

[00:45:37]Yes it is. And we thought, okay, let's work on it. Or if we say, Hey, I feel like we need a little bit of space, like we're really close right now. Like we've spent a lot of time together. I just need a breather. We're like, okay. And so it has been, I think what has contributed so much to the success of our relationship is just that, taking the same principles that you would apply to any productive relationship within a workplace and using them in our marriage.[00:46:00]

[00:46:00]Hala Taha:We will be back after a short break from our patrons. This YAP episode is brought to you by Invesco. In every episode of YAP, we turn the wisdom of the world's brightest minds into actionable advice and efforts to help you live your youngest, most profitable life. Today our friends at Invesco share some tips on how to use ETFs or Exchange Traded Funds to strengthen your finances.

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[00:47:24]ETFs are subject to risks similar to those of shares, incorporated by Invesco dealers. This YAP episode is hosted by the Jordan Harbinger Show. You must know that Jordan Harbinger is my all time favorite podcaster in the world. So much so that I wanted him to become my podcast mentor, and we literally talked every day.

[00:47:43]It's on my Slack channel. The Jordan Harbinger Show is the perfect show for the youngsters and freeloaders to add to their rotation. The Jordan Harbinger program was named Best of Apple 2018 and aims to make you a more informed and critical thinker. And in each episode he unpacks his guest[00:48:00]wisdom into practical nuggets that you can use to impact your work, your life, and your relationships.

[00:48:05]It's pretty similar to YAP in terms of no fluff. You always come away learning something new. And his show also has a bit of humor in it, which is a nice touch. Jordan, being the OG, always hosts top guests like Mark Cuban, rapper T.I, and athletes like the late great Kobe Bryant. And he is very demanding with his guests like me, so they are always very interesting topics.

[00:48:27]Jordan has a great investigation. He is a natural interviewer and his topics are always on point. It's no wonder Jordan is one of the biggest podcasters in the world. You know I'm definitely a fan, a huge fan, and if that's not worth checking out, I don't know what is. You can find the Jordan Harbinger Show on your favorite podcast platform, or you can visit Jordan harbinger.com/start for some episode recommendations. This is the Jordan Harbinger show. H-A-R-B-(as in boy)-I-N-(as in nancy)-G-E-R) at Apple[00:49:00]Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[00:49:06]Yes, this is very healthy. Because I know a lot of relationships, they don't feel as open in terms of communication, like they're too scared to tell each other how they really feel about things, so it's really nice that you can work with that.

[00:49:19]Leila Hormozi:Also, I would say this, yes, you may be afraid to communicate anything to your partner.

[00:49:25]Or maybe you are afraid of losing yourself in the relationship and it is as if you have one or the other, that is, if you constantly live in fear of what your partner will think, you lose yourself. And that's why I always had that avant-garde in mind. I won't commit, neither will Alex, who I am and who he is, I always do, and we both really accept each other for who we are.

[00:49:44]But it is something in which I am very convinced. If there's something going on that I need to communicate how I feel about it or if I'm dissatisfied, it's the same with him. We will do this even if it hurts our partner's feelings, because we both know that we must put ourselves and what is true for us first.

[00:49:59]Otherwise our[00:50:00]the relationship will never work in the long run. It may be good in the short term to avoid this, but in the long term you are setting yourself up for dysfunction.

[00:50:06]Hala Taha:Yes, 100%. And complete failure. So clever. Okay, I feel like this is a good behavior change because you mentioned, and Alex mentioned it on the show, that you're the fastest person he knows in terms of behavior change.

[00:50:21]And then through my research, I found that you used to be afraid of public speaking, and now you basically do it probably every day as part of your career. He also thought that he would never be a good manager, which is literally what he is known for now in terms of management styles. So how do you continually adapt and change your behavior to be successful?

[00:50:40]Leila Hormozi:I think when a lot of people talk about behavior change. What they are really asking for is a belief or a change of opinion. Because if you think about changing your behavior, it's not very complicated. It's not eating the cookie. But I think a lot of people want to know how I don't want to eat the cookie.

[00:50:55]That's what they want to know, because people ask, how do I lose weight? I just can't lose weight. I'm like, no, you can't be[00:51:00]hungry. You don't know how to tolerate hunger. That's why you can't lose weight. And then it's not that I lack anxiety, stress, nervousness. When we got into this podcast, I thought my heart was racing.

[00:51:11]It really happens every time with every podcast. If I go up to talk. The last speech I gave, I went on stage and couldn't, my mouth was so dry. I thought the words sure wouldn't come out as being terrified because I care, because I want to make sure I do a good job. I want to feel like I value the audience, right?

[00:51:27]But what I've learned is, first, don't judge me for it. And two, I can be nervous, I can be scared, I can be anxious and I can still act like I'm not, and that's the most important thing. That was the unlock for me with the behavior change. And what it has always been is that I don't need to eliminate the feelings. I just need to change my relationship with them.

[00:51:48]Most people, what they do is think, I feel anxious, I feel scared, I feel nervous. I need to get rid of this feeling so that I can act according to my values ​​and the behavior that I would like to have. But that's not him[00:52:00]case at all. I need to learn to make friends with these feelings. How to live with those feelings, how to handle those feelings and be okay with those feelings and still step forward anyway.

[00:52:10]And for me it's always been if I feel stressed or anxious or whatever and I'm trying to change a behavior. I only remember that you have to level up. You are above the situation. It's not about getting the cookie or not getting the cookie. It is about what is my relationship with hunger. And so for someone who is on a diet. It's not that you're hungry. Not that you need the cookie. It's not that.

[00:52:28]You just don't know how to be hungry. You cannot tolerate the feeling of hunger in your body. For people who get stressed when speaking in public. It's not that you can't speak in public. It's just that you can't tolerate the feeling of nervousness in your body before going on stage. So what I do, even though I don't want to, is force myself into situations where I know these feelings will be triggered, and I practice visualizing them beforehand.

[00:52:52]The thing will happen. I will feel I'm nervous, I'm going to feel like I'm going to throw up, I'm going to feel like I'm going to panic, whatever it is. As[00:53:00]Will I act despite feeling this way? For example, if I am speaking in public. I visualize myself having a stage panic attack before going on stage.

[00:53:08]And then I go through what would I actually do? Because a lot of people just say, Jesus, I have a stage panic attack and that's it. That's it for me, right? I finished. Or I'm like, okay, let's say I have a stage panic attack, so what? So it only lasts two minutes? What will happen in the next two minutes?

[00:53:24]I could make a joke about it. You could use this as an example of resilience. For everyone else watching, as if I could make fun of myself. There are so many things I could do next, but really make this an opportunity, turn this challenge into an opportunity, and then I could go ahead and give my speech.

[00:53:39]Hala Taha:So if the worst happened, what would you do and how would you change it? So it's not so scary because you think, if something bad happens, this is my escape plan.

[00:53:47]Leila Hormozi:Good? And, but this is what I'm going to say, it's not even that because it reassures us.

[00:53:52]I mean, it's okay, even if the worst happens. I'll find out, but what if you don't? Because that's the other way, I mean, I talked to business owners and they asked me, what if my business doesn't work?[00:54:00]die? And I'm like, okay, so your business dies. So what? They are like me, you have millions of dollars in the banks.

[00:54:04]What are you going to do after that? And then they say I think I would start another business. And I'm like, okay, so let's talk about the steps. And I think that's one, talking about what you would do if the worst case scenario happened. And also make peace with the fact that sometimes when the worst case scenario happens. We didn't act on what our plans were and visualizing that.

[00:54:25]And visualizing how he would get through it, that he would be fine. So what I hope for at some point in my career, make a speech or something like that, I'm sure I'll enjoy it at some point. . I can talk about these things, but I'm sure this will happen.

[00:54:41]And when it does, I've visualized it enough to be okay with it. I won't judge myself for it. And I hope I can use this as a lesson for other people, to show them that you can do things and be afraid at the same time. And that really has been my whole life. Just like people, how do you get rid of anxiety?

[00:54:56]And everything I think about, never goes away. You are still by my side all day, every day.[00:55:00]But I learned to live with it and really act on it despite feeling a certain way. And I think if you're not constantly trying to get rid of a feeling, the feeling will naturally go away anyway.

[00:55:10]But when you are constantly trying to get rid of a feeling, what happens is that the feeling persists. But if you're not trying to get rid of it, it's much more likely to go away.

[00:55:19]Hala Taha:So I want to focus on something that you mentioned lightly, which was being uncomfortable. And I know you're saying that one of the things that holds our younger generations back is that they don't want to feel uncomfortable.

[00:55:31]I had Wim Hof ​​on the show. He is the ice man, he says something similar, but he talks about being physically uncomfortable and the importance of that, that we all wear clothes. We have the temperature control on, we don't even want to be cold. That's as far as we go with this. And then we don't even unlock the power of our bodies.

[00:55:47]It is difficult to exercise. So we don't work. But I think you also understand more from a mental perspective. So I'd love to hear from you why it's so important to feel uncomfortable sometimes.

[00:55:58]Leila Hormozi:I really think the[00:56:00]The physical aspect is useful in many ways. I'm not going to go to extremes with this.

[00:56:03]For example, I lift and lift a lot of weight and strength and I've been doing it for a while and it has taught me a lot in life, which is, you progress the most when you have a lot of pain under the bar. But I think it's important because what's good is often not good for us. And I think I learned that early in my life. Which is most of the things that make us feel good aren't.

[00:56:24]But if you. That is what many people think. They think, damn it, I don't want to be uncomfortable all the time. But the problem is that those things that are uncomfortable if done enough times become comfortable. And then if you do that in multiple areas of your life, it's ironic because really, everything that's uncomfortable becomes comfortable.

[00:56:43]So, I think it's just breaking through, being able to take the first step. Because our brains don't like unpredictability. And the reason something is so hard the first time is because we can't predict what will happen next. But the moment we do that, our brain makes a new association. It has one[00:57:00]memory that will hit.

[00:57:01]And most of the time it's not as bad as we think. And so I think it's almost a practice in the sense that I try to do things that are uncomfortable for me, every day I try to push myself. I try not to lean on my feelings. Not because I don't want to, I want to, like today for example, last night I had a bad night and then I didn't sleep well because of it.

[00:57:19]Something or other happened at work and then I woke up, I got calls at 6 am, I was like, I feel absolutely stupid. I was like, but you know what? I'm going to show up here and I'm going to rock, and I'm going to rock my meetings afterwards. I'll rock my interviews later. And I think even every time we do that, what we do is build confidence within ourselves so that all the other uncomfortable things in our lives are easier to accomplish.

[00:57:40]So I think it's just a matter of gaining momentum. A lot of people are like me, Layla, I have a hard time feeling uncomfortable. I'm like, but you have a habit of making yourself comfortable. You know how to create a habit now, we just need to create a habit in the other direction.

[00:57:50]Hala Taha:Sim.

[00:57:51]Leila Hormozi:Which is funny, but it's like you have the power of inertia on your side once you start doing that, I mean, if you start leaning towards comfort more and more, and more, I have a friend who wrote a book called The Comfort[00:58:00]Crisis. You start doing everything in your life according to comfort, and this is called comfort flow.

[00:58:04]That's why he named it. On the contrary, if you go in the opposite direction, you start doing everything in an uncomfortable way, then it is a feeling of discomfort. You start to notice that in all areas of your life, you start to feel a little more uncomfortable and you start to achieve more and more. because achieving things comes from the only reason achievements are good because we did something that was uncomfortable.

[00:58:24]And a lot of times people think, I have to get rid of this discomfort to do this. But no achievement without discomfort is not really good. So the reason successful people are so confident is not because they didn't feel discomfort and did something, but because they felt a lot of discomfort and did it anyway.

[00:58:38]And I think for me, it's always been like that, I encourage people to feel uncomfortable. I encourage people to also be aware of how to feel uncomfortable in a way that they can handle. Maybe, let's try a few small steps first. OK. If you're terrified of public speaking and you're going to vomit when you go on stage, let's do some online podcast interviews first, shall we?

[00:58:56]Maybe, we'll do some YouTube videos and then we'll go on stage.[00:59:00]maybe six months later. And I think you can climb your way to your biggest fears or your biggest discomforts, and we all have to get to know each other and figure out what works best. Some people can throw themselves into the fire and get into the most awkward situation and come out okay.

[00:59:14]Some people would not work out very well and would have to work their way into something that is uncomfortable. I think it's a matter of finding what works for you.

[00:59:21]Hala Taha:Yes. So I love this theme. I want to stay here for a while. I love the topic of motivation because I feel like a lot of my listeners come to me saying they don't know how to find their motivation and if they feel that way it's something external.

[00:59:34]And they always feel that they need to have the feeling of motivation to do something. And I know you've said in the past that you don't always stay motivated. You don't do things just because of how you feel. So I'd love to learn a little more about that.

[00:59:48]Leila Hormozi:I think most people lack motivation because they don't have enough responsibility.

[00:59:54]Go see the single mom who is raising four kids. she misses[01:00:00]motivation? No. She has responsibility and I do, so I think a lot of people. When they talk about motivation, what they really lack is responsibility. I am responsible for all the people who work in my company. I am responsible for all the companies that are in the portfolio.

[01:00:15]I am responsible for an audience that supports me. That's what I think in my mind. So am I going to take action to do what I want to do or am I going to do what is best for everyone? And I think what a lot of people do is avoid responsibility, which reduces motivation.

[01:00:32]You don't feel like doing something when you don't have a big enough reason, you create enough reasons, which are usually people, and you have more motivation to do things. So it's not that I feel motivated every day, but I do have a responsibility to the people whose lives I influence. And so every day when I wake up and I have to make the decision, am I going to do it?

[01:00:50]I won't do this, I'll do that or I won't do that. That's what I'm thinking. And I think for those people asking, I just don't have the motivation. take on more[01:01:00]responsibility. You won't even have time to think about how you feel. Because you only have to because you are responsible for other people.

[01:01:07]And I think we live in a time where people lack responsibility. If you are anything like the family built in this country, it is completely different from what it was a long time ago. And so we have less pressure to do well. We have less pressure to stay, keep our commitments, and less pressure to be uncomfortable.

[01:01:23]But if you're the person responsible for many other people's lives, you'll be much more motivated than you wouldn't be. This makes sense?

[01:01:32]Hala Taha:Oh, it totally does. I very much aligned with that. I even wrote some thoughts about it and it's like we were really close in terms of what we were saying.

[01:01:39]Our approach would be to like, so for example, you were saying before this interview that you felt like shit. You really didn't. But you showed up, right? Me too. I almost broke up with my boyfriend last night. I had a terrible night. I was like, oh god. As I have to be, I'm in my game face, but at the end of the day, we have to show up because that's why we're here.[01:02:00]Successful because we show up even when we don't feel like it.

[01:02:03]And like you, I walk away and think that if I don't show up here, I'm endangering my employees. If I don't show up today, I'm putting my fans on not getting an episode. Leila earns a lot of money for speaking. I'm not going to cancel and ruin my reputation with Leila. It's like all those things, to your point, like you hit the nail on the head.

[01:02:21]I am responsible for many things. So the only way I can cancel an interview is because I have a sore throat and I can't talk. And the other thing I think is if I'm physically able to do the show, if something actually happens, that's bad for me going forward. At least I took the steps I could to get as far as I could.

[01:02:39]And then when I'm really sick. I can say, okay, I deserve to be sick. I can cancel this interview. So yeah, I think we're aligned there.

[01:02:47]Leila Hormozi:I love that.

[01:02:48]Hala Taha:So interesting. Alright, let's talk about the GSD muscle. You talk about that muscle that does shit. How can we build and develop this muscle?

[01:02:56]Leila Hormozi:Yes. I think that muscle is coming[01:03:00]have a low thought threshold for action. If I could put it in the right terms, that is, if you think a thought and then act on that thought, a lot of people don't do shit because they spend so much more time thinking and less time acting. Now I know how to think, but often what I need to do is act.

[01:03:20]And I think a lot, and it's like what we were talking about before, it's just an issue that I've noticed, which is that people are getting into their heads a lot right now, they're thinking too much, overanalyzing, these things. I'm like, you have to build muscle to do shit. The only way to do this is if, the moment you think of something, you harness your power by taking immediate action.

[01:03:36]The way to get more power is to act on a thought faster than others, faster than before, faster than five days ago. And so, for many people, this is combined with the ability to cope with discomfort. Like we just talked about. I think if you want to do shit, you're going to feel uncomfortable.

[01:03:53]And I think you build that muscle faster when you put it under stress more often.[01:04:00]So when I think about the muscle to do shit, it's like any other muscle, that you have to go to the gym and put it under tension, right? It doesn't matter if you're doing higher reps, low reps are waiting on the bar.

[01:04:08]As if it's time under tension that builds a muscle. And the same goes for the shitter muscle, which is the moment when you realize that everything is fine, designed for the threshold of action. How many more times can you do this in how many situations? So what I like to do to myself when I try to instill that, and maybe I feel like I'm in a season where something happened and you know it didn't go my way, or I'm scared, or I'm stressed, or something is going.

[01:04:29]I write daily what these things I can do. I read it earlier that day and thought, these are the little things I'm going to do to build muscle today, to pass my time under stress. It can be a difficult conversation with a coworker. I can have a difficult conversation with a portfolio company.

[01:04:44]Is it possible, I begin to wonder, what are those things that perhaps I am avoiding or could avoid that if I did them today they would make me stronger tomorrow? And that's what primed muscle is. And I think a lot of people don't have it, or it's stunted because they're fine.[01:05:00]living with the pink elephant in the room.

[01:05:02]I guess if you have a very strong muscle to do, you don't have a lot of laundry. Whereas if you have really strong muscle, there's nothing like it, there's no pink elephant in the room, like there's nothing there. Like you got a clear hit. This is how I keep my head free. I don't like having to think about a lot of situations that are, I mean, not complete, unresolved.

[01:05:20]Hala Taha:Open circuits. Yeah.

[01:05:22]Leila Hormozi:Open circuits. Like I don't like that. I don't like to have, if something bothers me, I feel like there's something wrong with a teammate, I just fix it right away. And I think that's really where the muscle is and where it comes from. And it's like anything else, any other muscle.

[01:05:34]It's like time under tension is how you're going to build it.

[01:05:36]Hala Taha:I love that. Okay, so the last question to wrap up this part of the interview, what advice would you give to people in their teens and twenties, the next generation who want to achieve the level of success that you did in your thirties?

[01:05:51]What is your main advice for them?

[01:05:53]Leila Hormozi:I would say learn to act regardless of how you feel.

[01:05:57]Hala Taha:Yes. Great topic for today's episode.

[01:05:59]Leila Hormozi:I think it's just[01:06:00]learn to act despite how you feel, because you're not going to feel good most of the time when you're making progress toward your goals. People congratulate me all the time on the success of the companies we sell and the success we're having right now.

[01:06:10]And I say, you have all your success driven by things that are painful, right? These are experiences we go through, right? And understand that you just need to learn to act despite how you feel. And feelings are something to recognize, but they are not guidelines as to how to live our life.

[01:06:31]Hala Taha:Man, talk about good energy. What a fun conversation with this beautiful boss Leila, Hormozi. I can't wait for you to hear the second part next week. In part one, we got a great overview of Leila's story and all the lessons learned along the way. And in the second part, we will delve into Leila's experience leading and managing a team.

[01:06:52]He has amazing accountability structures and hiring strategies. I can't wait for you to hear all about it next.[01:07:00]week in the second part. If you liked this episode, please tell all your friends. Share with us through word of mouth. Let everyone know that young and profitable is your favorite way to listen, learn and profit.

[01:07:11]And if you like watching your podcast when you're on your computer, find us on YouTube. We have a growing YouTube channel that we always keep up to date, and you can find all the video interviews we do on the show. All the interviews you hear on this podcast are also on YouTube, except for the solo episodes.

[01:07:29]You can also find me on Instagram at yapwithhala or on LinkedIn. You can't lose me on that platform. Many thanks to my amazing team at YAP for helping me produce and promote the show. I appreciate all of your hard work and I appreciate all of my loyal listeners as well. It's been an amazing year and I'm so grateful to host this show.

[01:07:50]This is your host, podcast princess Hala Taha. Signature.[01:08:00]


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